Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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