I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
