my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
