It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
im holly from the hills drunk
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
