Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
