you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
