One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize