The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
