i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
