According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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