I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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