i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
