i'm lost and i look like a hooker
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize