I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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