Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
