I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
