I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I look better un-naked...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
