Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
