.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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