i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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