woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
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