Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
i out mim tonsoeep
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize