I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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