I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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