lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
