Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
