Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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