I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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