Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
