I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
