take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
