Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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