We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
