Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
