If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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