K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
