I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize