Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just googled if crying burns calories
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
