He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
