At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
