Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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