I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Never underestimate the power of titties
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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