so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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