her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
