I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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