I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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