And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
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Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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