we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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