So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
