Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
