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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?

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  Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.

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• (408): View more from California

  I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  When / where did the additional couches appear?

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Additional?

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.

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  The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid

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• (760): View more from California

  Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.

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• (212): View more from New York

  I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.

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