Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.