My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
We almost ended up sober because of u!!