Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
her vagine was all disorganized.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
