I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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