I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
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We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
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Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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