were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
