Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
