where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
