I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Dignity is for republicans.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
