i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
