walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
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You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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